


So You... Like, Like Me? | Damon Baird x Reader |

by TonyStarks_Girl



Category: Gears of War (Video Games)
Genre: Baird and Cole are childish as hell, Diary/Journal, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Injury, Kissing, Long af yo, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Smut, There is some sexy shit in here, Vaginal Fingering, and, as in, love-hate relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 22:11:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonyStarks_Girl/pseuds/TonyStarks_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe, but you and I been fightin' with her for over ten years. You know her like the back of your hand, and you like her!"</p><p>"I wear gloves all the time and I'm an engineer; I don't know what the hell my hands look like."</p>
            </blockquote>





	So You... Like, Like Me? | Damon Baird x Reader |

"If you take another one of my fucking kills…" You muttered darkly.

"Oh boo hoo, get the fuck over it. Same grub, still dead."

"Pot calling the kettle black!" You shouted, "You bitch at anyone if they steal your kill!"

Damon scoffed and rolled his eyes as he walked away, "Get over it Princess."

You grit your teeth and clutched your Retro Lancer, "One day… I swear I'm gonna charge this right up his ass…"

Sam just laughed and pat your shoulder, "We've all got those days, sweetheart. Come on, let's go get something to eat, take your mind off of Baird."

"Gladly." You put away your weapons and headed to the mess hall with Sam.

xXx

Unfortunately for you, Baird also required food and water to sustain life, which sucked. He sat at a table with Cole far away from yours, while you sat with Sam and Clayton.

You were all engaged in a pleasant conversation when you suddenly felt something fly into your shirt. You looked down to see a french fry, and then back up to see Cole and Baird laughing like a couple of freshmen in high school.

Fists were curled and your tongue was ready to fire off every curse you knew, especially when you noticed Clayton trying to hold back laughter of his own.

"My bad! Can I get that back though? Can't waste food these days."

You reached in between your breasts, standing and launching the fry into the trash can before storming out and heading to your bedroom. You kicked your door shut, tearing your shirt off and grabbed a tissue, wiping away the grease from your chest and replacing your v-neck with a higher cut shirt.

You opened your closet and moved your Sawed-Off, retrieving a small notebook you kept and pulling the pen out of the spiral before sitting down on your bed, curling your legs up and opening to the newest page in your book.

_He's a dick and I hate him. But I don't hate him, which pisses me off. I love that asshole for whatever reason! I mean, he's so childish! Always in competition with me, and then he acts like a stupid teenager and throws food in my breasts. I don't know why he does it, why he acts this way with me, but it's stupidly admirable, which makes me want to hate him more. But I can't because when he's not being a stupid asshole, he's a charming bastard that I've fought alongside shortly after his days as lieutenant were over. Handsome, funny, extremely smart… Rough exterior, softie underneath… A good guy with a good heart, who's just afraid to get close to anyone because they could be gone in an instant. Or he could be gone in an instant. And the last thing that emotionally distant bastard wants is to be mourned over. But I don't give a damn about that. And I'd rather not think about it at all. Instead, I'm going to dwell on the fact that he's got the bluest eyes in the world._

_Just to get my mind off the fact that the bastard tossed a french fry in my shirt not even two hours after he stole a kill from me._

_Bastard._

xXx

"What the hell is your problem?!" Sam yelled as she burst into Baird's room, hands on her hips.

Cole stood and put his hands up innocently, "Uh, I'm just gonna-"

"No you're not. You may have been a Thrashball player, but we're much more rough down in Anvil Gate with our sports. Now sit down!"

"Yes ma'am!" Cole sat right back down where he was, not daring to test the woman.

"What the hell was that today, Baird?!"

"See, it's ten at night, so I'm gonna need a little more info-"

"You know what the hell I'm talking about. The little stunt you pulled this afternoon, for one. What the hell were you thinking? You hate when any of us even _accidentally_  take a kill from you, yet you _purposely_ shoved (Name) out of the way and killed that Locust."

"What can I say, I needed an assist ribbon."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but it doesn't matter. Explain to me what that was at dinner tonight, because I sure as hell don't know."

"Oh come on! It's not that serious. Cole bet me I couldn't get it in her shirt from that distance, so I decided to show him that physics makes anything possible. And guess what? It was fucking possible."

"It was stupid and you owe her an apology."

"Look, it's not like she likes me anyway! I say you leave us alone and let us be assholes to each other."

"Apologize or I'm letting her Retro Charge your ass."

Sam turned on her heel and headed out of the room, moving to her own bedroom and shaking her head with a sigh. She swiped a hand down her face, mindful of the bandage.

"Assholes… Assholes everywhere."

xXx

As you were getting dressed the next morning, there were a few light raps on your door. You pulled your shirt the rest of the way down and opened the door, supressing the urge to punch your visitor in the face. Instead you merely placed your hand on your hip.

"What?"

"Hey, uh… Sorry about… About yesterday. About both things I did. You're right. I woulda been pissed if anyone did that to me, so I'm not gonna do it again. On purpose, anyway. And at dinner… Again, I'm sorry. Won't happen again, swear."

You blinked, "An actual apology by Damon Baird."

He laughed slightly, scratching the back of his neck and glancing between your eyes and anywhere but, "Yeah… Just… Sorry."

He began to turn away, but he quickly looked back at you again, "Your hair's down."

You touched your hair, which stopped just under your breasts, "Yeah. I was just getting dressed, and I didn't get to put it up yet."

"It's a good look on you. Anyway, I guess I'll see you later."

Baird walked away quickly, leaving you stunned. First an apology, then a sincere compliment?

You closed your door and immediately rushed over to grab your notebook.

xXx

You left your hair down as you went to breakfast and once again sat with Sam and Clayton. You couldn't see for sure, but you were certain that Clayton's eyebrows rose underneath his helmet.

"Well look what we've got here." Sam said, surprised.

You chuckled and brushed your bangs out of your eyes, "Thought I should change it up for once. What do you think?"

"I think you look hot." Clayton said simply.

Sam elbowed his side, "It looks fantastic. You've really got lovely hair, (Name). I didn't know it was so long!"

You smiled, "Not much time for haircuts around here. I get it trimmed every couple of months though."

"Well, I'm glad you're embracing a change." She said with a smile, "So, did Baird apologize?"

You nodded, "Yeah, he came by before breakfast. Said he was sorry for both things and then he was on his way."

"Hm. Did he mean it?"

"I think so? I don't know. But he did compliment my hair too, so maybe he's just feeling nice today."

"Maybe…"

She and Clayton both knew that was a bunch of bullshit, but they didn't bother commenting on it. Baird was never nice, unless he had a very condescending tone to go with it. And you knew that after so many years alongside him, and yet you found him to be sincere…

So what the hell was up with Baird?

xXx

Cole tapped Baird's arm, "You were late to breakfast. Something wrong?"

"Na. Just went and got that apology over with."

"Was it good enough for Sam's standards? You know she'll kick ya ass if it wasn't."

"She'll be satisfied with it. Don't you ever make me do some shit like that again though. Really thought I was gonna get castrated."

Cole laughed, "Uh-huh, whatever. You liked lookin' at her chest."

"The hell you talkin' about?"

"Damon, I know you like her. Ya hiding it pretty good, but I caught ya."

"Let's be hypothetical here. Say I did have feelings for her. How would you know?" Damon crossed his arms, genuinely curious.

"'Cause you pick on her the most. See, they got this thing called kindergarten love. Remember back when you was little and there was that one girl you thought was cute, but girls was supposed to have cooties or somethin'? So you picked on her instead."

"So you're saying that because I pick on (Name) a lot, that means I like her."

"Yep."

"Hm. Well, you're full of shit."

Cole just shook his head with a chuckle, "Can't fool me, Damon."

"Why would I have a crush on her? She's a bitch!"

"Maybe, but you and I been fightin' with her for over ten years. You know her like the back of your hand, and you like her!"

"I wear gloves all the time and I'm an engineer; I don't know what the hell my hands look like."

Cole rolled his eyes and temporarily resigned the argument. He and Baird resumed their breakfast routine as normal, though he could tell something else was on Baird's mind, most likely courtesy of his questioning.

xXx

"I'm hit!"

You dropped your gun and held your wound, heart rate increasing as a Locust Drone walked closer and closer to you. Out of all ways to die, a curb stomp was not the way you preferred to go.

The grub let out a monstrous roar as you tried to get up, kicking you in the gut and turning you over. It seemed to smile as it revved up its chainsaw, and you swore. That was an even worse way to go.

You closed your eyes and looked away, not strong enough to accept your fate head on. But then blood splattered on your clothes, and you'd never been happier hearing his voice.

"Lobotomized!"

You opened your eyes and nearly burst into tears as Baird kneeled down next to you. He gently shushed you and pulled out his bandages, lifting your shirt to look at the wound. He pressed two fingers to his ear quickly.

"(Name's) hurt, and bandages are only gonna work for so long. I'll patch her up and get her on a truck, but we're gonna have to wrap this up quickly and get her some medical attention from an actual fucking doctor."

He removed his fingers and carefully lifted you up, making you lean against a barrier as he quickly wrapped the bandages around your torso, not tying them off until it was as tight as you could take.

He gently picked you up, giving you your Boltok Pistol to cover his back as he rushed you to the trucks. Only a few headshots were needed before he made it to a truck, placing you in the driver's seat. You held onto his arms when he attempted to let go of you.

"No… Damon, no…" You were nearly delirious as you begged, tears falling.

"Shh…" He was still so surprisingly gentle with you, "You're gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let any grubs get by me."

You looked into his eyes, "Damon…"

"(Name), I gotta get back out there."

You nodded and moved your hands from his arms. He brushed a bang from your face.

"You're gonna be okay. If anything happens with the bandages, let us know, immediately."

You gave him another nod, and as he was turning away, you grabbed his arm once again. He turned back, getting frustrated and ready to voice it, but instead ended up uncharacteristically speechless at your actions.

You kissed his cheek lightly, "Be careful, Damon." You whispered.

"Yeah…" He breathed, "I will."

 _"Baird, get your ass back out here!"_  You both heard Marcus shout through the comms.

Baird gave you one last lingering glance before closing the car door and rushing back to the battlefield. You held your hand over the wound the dead Locust Drone gave you, the other moving to your chest and throat, where its chainsaw would have been if Baird didn't save you.

xXx

_I owe him my life. Not sure if that's a position I wanna be in. I haven't been that close to death, ever. I've had some close calls, but never like that! I thought I'd die out of fear right then and there before the Locust got that damn chainsaw anywhere near me._

_But then he saved me. He actually fucking saved me. Popped the grub's head off and everything. And then bandaged me up and he even carried me to safety! He was so sweet and gentle with me… He really seemed concerned, and I just…_

_I can't believe I kissed him though. Wasn't his lips or anything (I wish) but it was still amazing. I've only caught a glimpse of him since we got back to the ship, which is a shame. Despite my feelings for him, he's always been an asshole in my opinion, but in these rare moments over the years where I've gotten to see this soft side of him… It makes me love him even more._

There was knocking on your door as you finished up your latest entry. You quickly shoved the pen and notebook under your pillow.

"Yeah!" You shouted, hand holding your wound as you sat up.

The door opened to reveal none other than the man that held your affections. He waved briefly after stepping in, crouching down next to you. Blue eyes looked up at you.

"How ya doin'?"

"Sore, but I'm alive, at least."

He nodded, "So… About when you got shot and I totally came to save the day…"

You rolled your eyes, "I was delirious, Baird."

"So… you being clingy and that kiss…"

"Meant nothing. Sorry Pretty Boy, not all the girls have the hots for ya."

He nodded slowly and stood, "Alright then. Good. Didn't feel like breaking any hearts today."

He quickly walked out, and for a moment, you could've sworn he was disappointed. But what would he feel disappointed about?

You sure as hell didn't know.

xXx

Damon sighed and laid down on his bed. Wasn't how he'd planned the morning to go, but what was he supposed to do about it? He knew he shouldn't have thought too much into it. You nearly died and he saved you, of course you'd be clingy. It wasn't because you liked him. You hated him.

"Baird, what the hell you waitin' on? Carmine's gonna get ya bacon!"

"Not hungry." Baird mumbled, his forearm over his eyes.

He heard the door open and his best friend entered, concerned.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothin'."

"You go see (Name)?"

"I don't have a crush on her."

Cole sniggered, "Didn't say you did."

Damon bit his tongue, "Alright, fine. You caught me."

"Caught you a while back, but good to hear you're outta denial." Augustus laughed.

The engineer merely flipped his friend off, "I asked her about the kiss and everything. Didn't mean anything. That post-almost-death delirium is all it was."

"Hmm. You know that's bullshit, right?"

Damon moved his arm and raised an eyebrow, "The hell you talkin' about?"

"I ain't never seen a girl so in love, and I'm the Cole Train, baby!"

"And how would you know that?"

"She puts up with our shit, she blushes around you, and she didn't punch you in the face after the fry thing. Never once asked to transfer to a different unit, and every time you slap her ass, she gets this grin and the Cole Train knows enough to know she likes it rough like that, and she'd love it from you."

Damon mulled over the information, "Okay… She wants to fuck me."

"Lil' bit more than that, Damon."

The genius shook his head, "Uh-uh. Need proof."

Cole shrugged, "Gonna have to get that yaself."

Damon nodded and sat up, walking in front of Cole and looking him directly in the eye, "If I get shot for this, expect my Sawed-Off up your ass."

Cole started laughing until he realized what his best friend had just said, "Wait… Damon, what the hell are you gonna do?"

The blond merely smirked and started out into the hallway, headed toward where your bedroom was. Cole didn't know what that dumbass was up to, but he did know that he was _not_  taking the rap for it.

xXx

Baird stood next to your door, waiting for you to get up to go eat or use the bathroom. He didn't have to worry about anyone walking by, as most of the rooms near yours were unfortunately no longer inhabited. It was sad, yeah, but fairly beneficial to his plan, so he'd take it.

Luckily for him, it didn't take you long to get cabin fever. You opened up your door and stepped out, having no time to react before Baird carefully grasped your sides and pinned you to the wall opposite your room, pressing his lips to yours hungrily.

The air in your lungs seemed to dissipate at your initial reaction, as you were in no way expecting to be grabbed, rushed and kissed like you were. Your eyes were only open long enough to register who it was that had come onto you so strongly. Your arms wound around his neck and held him tight, mindful of the wound that Anya had spent so much time patching up.

The slick bastard smoothly slid his tongue into your mouth, moving at a rather languid place despite how quick he was to push his lips onto yours. You began pushing off of the wall, lips still connected and arms still tight around his neck.

Baird got the message and grasped your ass, backing into your room and turning, kicking the door shut before gently laying you down on the bed, his legs on either side of your body, caging you in. Your hands grazed his stubble, body arching upwards as Baird's hands roamed your sides. He slithered a hand between the two of you, gently pushing you back down.

"Don't tear your stitches, babe." He muttered as his lips traveled along your jaw, occasionally moving back up to his your lips. "That'll be a mood killer."

His lips capped yours again while his hands continued to move along your body, a hand sliding down to your thigh, pulling it up to hook across his waist.

With the new angle, you used it to your advantage to rut up against him. He groaned against you, hands firmly on your hips to continue moving you against him.

His fingers popped open the button of your pants and he expertly slid his hand inside, smirking and chuckling darkly as he realized you'd foregone underwear.

"Commando, huh? I like it."

Baird's finger delicately traveled up and down your slit, his finger never dipping in, much to your displeasure. You caught his lip between your teeth, softly nibbling as he teased you with thick finger. His low groan turned into a chuckle as you released his lip and placed a hand on the back of his head, pulling him down so you could kiss him once more.

You didn't know what exactly was going on, but you were going to make the most of it.

You moved your other leg out of the sort of cage his legs had made around you, spreading wider than before. Baird hummed against your lips, his tongue sliding with yours as he used two fingers to spread open your lips, his middle finger just barely grazing your inner labia.

You gasped and shivered under his touch. His lips moved along your lips, neck, jaw and the exposed portion of your chest. He'd yet to push his finger inside, but he was still rubbing along your labia. Meanwhile your fingers had gone from moving through his hair to the hem of your shirt, ready to get rid of the damn thing.

Baird pulled back, allowing you to remove the offending article. Only your black bra was left, though your blue-eyed lover focused his gaze on your stitches. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, until he very carefully leaned down, placing a sweet kiss on your bandages.

"Beautiful…" He murmured.

Slowly he inserted a single digit, setting a very slow, even pace. You pulled his face down to kiss him again, which was probably the best part. The man was making you feel  _very_  special down there, but his mouth…

Seemed like he wasn't just an expert at talking…

While your tongues did all the work, you moved your hands down to his waist, popping the button on his pants and pulling down his zipper. You plunged your hand inside and felt his hard cock outside of his boxers, grasping it and humming at its considerable size.

He sucked in a breath and moved his finger faster. You slipped your hand into his underwear and moaned at the feel of him. Gradually the movements of your hand started moving just as Baird added a second finger inside of you, moving at a nice pace with a lovely angle to accompany it, his thumb just barely brushing circles around your clit.

From then on the mission was plain and clear: Get the other person to climax. And frankly, after the years of no action taking place, you both came embarrassingly early. It happened in tandem, both of your bodies seizing up and the amazing feelings increasing the highs.

Baird moved his lips back to your neck, kissing, nibbling, and sucking. His two fingers were still completely buried inside of you, but they were no longer moving and neither was his thumb along your clit. Your eyes fluttered shut, body on fire underneath his touch.

Baird pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes as you withdrew your hand from his pants, some of his cum on your fingers. Slowly, with your eyes still locked on one another's, you licked off every drop of his seed from your hand.

He growled and mashed his lips to yours once again, "When that wound heals…" He muttered between kisses, "I am _so_ going to fuck you properly."

"I'm counting on it." You whispered, completely truthful.

Baird continued to kiss on your face, his lips gentle against you. Each time he moved to kiss your lips you gently kissed back, softer and softer each time as you were so very close to falling asleep.

He chuckled when your breathing began to even out, "I've got cold semen in my pants; I'm outta here, babe."

A mere hum was sent back his way. He pulled your shirt back onto your body and fixed his pants, looking into your mirror to fix his hair as best as he could. As soon as he didn't look like he'd jumped you, he moved back over to you, who was out cold.

Baird quickly adjusted you into a comfortable position, pulling your blanket over you and fluffing the pillow up. His eyebrows screwed together once he felt the cool metal of the spiral notebook that was hidden under your pillow. He pulled it out and opened it up to look and see _what_  exactly it was.

He jumped, however, when there were three hard knocks on your door.

"(Name), you up?"

"God dammit, Sam…" Baird muttered. He slipped the small notebook in his back pocket and slid underneath your bed just as Sam entered the room.

"Smells like sex…" She muttered, "Good for her. Don't know who the hell she'd fuck on this ship, but good for her."

Baird smirked to himself as Sam walked out. Maybe you were actually interested in him, since Sam seemed to think your standards were too high.

"Huh… That'd be the day…" He murmured as he slipped out from under your bed and out of the room.

xXx

"What's that book?" Cole asked.

Baird looked at the little notebook he tossed on his bed, "I dunno. Didn't look at it yet."

"Where'd you get it?"

"(Name's) room."

"The hell were you doin' in there?"

Baird looked at the wall, scratching his hair, "Uh… Fingering her… Gettin' a handy…"

Augustus slapped Baird on the back, "My man! How'd you do it?"

"Honestly, I was just trying to make out, she's the one that brought it to her bedroom."

"Told you. Now why'd you snatch the book?"

"It was under her pillow. I wouldn't have actually taken it, but then Sam and her nosy ass showed up and I had to book it."

"I'm just gonna ignore that clever pun. So what the hell you waitin' for? Get to readin', son!"

Damon just laughed and picked up the notebook, "And this is why we're best friends."

He flipped open the miniature notebook, Cole reading over his shoulder. He noted how neat your handwriting was, like a hybrid of print and cursive. It was completely unique, just like the rest of you.

_Sam told me to write in a journal to control my urges. Don't really know how well that'll work, since I'd much rather kick Baird in the throat than write about doing it._

Cole snorted, trying to hide his laughter from Baird, who merely rolled his eyes, "Whatever, doesn't change the fact that she _wants_  me to fuck her."

 _But, it'll do me no good if I make that handsome face anything less, so I'll just stick to the pen and paper_.

"Ha! She's totally hot for me."

Together they read the journal, both completely engrossed in it. Deep down they recognized how wrong it was for them to read your diary, but it wasn't exactly shallow enough for them to care. At least, for the moment.

Damon set down the notebook at the first confession of love you'd written down. He looked down at the ground of his small bedroom, licking his bottom lip.

"This was wrong, we're getting our asses kicked, and I think I'm in love."

"I completely agree with everything you just said. Do me a favor and butter her up before you tell her we read her diary."

Baird smiled softly and looked at his desk, "I think I've got something that'll make me even with her."

He stood, placing the notebook on his desk and picking up a pen, scribbling down on the next free page a short message in his chicken scratch writing. He chuckled and looked at Cole.

"You? Well, you're fucked."

And Baird just laughed as he exited his bedroom, Cole's indignant cries soon drowning out.

"Oh the joys of bein' in love!"

xXx

Your eyes cracked open, taking in your surroundings. Same old, crusty walls, cold, permanently-filthy floors, and a cot that was on-par with an air mattress that'd been deflated overnight. The thin blanket draped along your body didn't do much to warm you up, but there wasn't much you could really do about that one. Baird didn't have the required parts to fix the ship's heating system, so cool air it was.

After wiping the crust from your eyes, you sat up, recalling your encounter with Baird. What the hell brought that on, you didn't know. He just kinda… Showed up with those perfect lips of his and that was that. Not that you were complaining. It'd been years since you first imagined that exact moment taking place so you weren't taking it for granted.

You reached under your pillow, feeling around the crisp sheet of your bed for the small notebook. You frowned and lifted the single pillow up, not spotting the blue notebook. Panic began to spread throughout you; that was _not_  an item you wanted to lose. If anyone found it and read the things you'd written down, you'd be the butt of everyone's ridicule for years to come, _especially_  Baird's.

Despite whatever had gone on earlier, there was absolutely no faith that Damon was actually interested in you. Sex was one thing, but the relationship that you'd been craving for years now was something entirely different. Yes, his touch sent you on fire, and yes you were completely ready for the intercourse he promised. But that deep connection with him was the thing you were really after. To have those ridiculously strong arms around you at night, his lips along the shell of your ear, whispering sweet nothings or his typical sarcastic remarks. It didn't matter which, you just wanted him within that close range.

Was it such a crime to desire love?

But before you could tear up you entire room looking for it, you noticed the blue cover on your desk. How it got there? You didn't have a damn clue.

You picked it up and cautiously flipped through it, making sure everything was intact and nothing was missing. Everything was there, but the chicken scratch writing was new. You recognized the handwriting and nearly passed out.

He had the notebook. He found it, and _of course_  he'd be curious as to what the hell it was and read it. And his note…

 _My room_.

Your stomach curled in knots, hands starting to sweat. You swallowed thickly and tied your hair back, swearing on anything you could think of and heading out of your bedroom and over to Baird's. The heavy metal door was open a quarter of the way, prompting you to step in with a light knock.

"Baird…?"

No sight of the blond genius to be found, but there was an open book on his worn-out desk. You approached it, noticing a few burn marks on the wood. You chuckled softly, running your fingers along one of them. You could take the man out of the lab, but that didn't mean he wouldn't bring the work up to bed when no one was looking.

It was a small notebook, about the size of your own. His was a cool gray, and page after page was filled in black ink, his sharp, agressive writing legible, yet barely in some areas where he seemed to be rushing. In the top corner above each entry sat the dates, the first going as back as far as two years before you began keeping your own notebook.

You picked it up and stepped out, pulling the door shut and walking back to your own room, gently thumbing through the pages. At first glance he didn't seem to write as often as you did, though he didn't start a new page every time like you. He was a space saver though, as he cut corners as often and efficiently as he could.

You relaxed on your bed, reading each entry carefully, laughing occasionally and feeling heartbreak at other points. He definitely knew how to pour his emotions into his writing, which was odd for a type of man such as he. But it made sense, in a way, considering how he never allowed them to show otherwise. Baird had to know bottling things up wasn't good, however, otherwise with all of his troubles he probably would've gotten himself killed, or even ended his own life.

_Lost another Carmine today. Should be keeping tally marks on these guys, they die so fucking quickly... It was Benjamin this time, the youngest. He was a happy kid, actually wanted to fight this war. Wanted to win for his family and for the government, for whatever fuckin' reason. Poor kid didn't know any better, I guess. Clayton hasn't said much for the past few hours. Can't really relate, so I haven't said anything to him. All I had were two shitty parents that didn't give a shit about their shitty kid. "Here Damon, go buy something and go on!" Raised by a wallet…_

_I swear to Christ I'm gonna tie that woman up and leave her on this damn ship next time we're deployed into battle. She's fucking reckless and if it wasn't for me, she'd already be dead. Sometimes I wonder if she wants to get killed. And if she does, well… Too fucking bad. Not on my watch, bitch._

You checked the date, remembering that day. You were particularly reckless, as you recalled, and Damon was fairly frustrated with you about it. He'd save you and then a shouting match would ensue as you watched one another's sixes.

_I'm tired, my ass has a graze mark, and there's a fucking hole in my arm. And until it heals, I'm stuck in this cot. I can't even fucking feed myself! This is bullshit!_

You chuckled, recalling all of the bitching and complaining he'd done. It was his right arm, his dominant one, that had been shot, and he could not move his arm, lest he injure himself even more. It took weeks to heal completely and correctly, and he couldn't fight, feed himself (he was pathetic with his left hand, really) or even tinker. And you just happened to draw the short straw on his assigned caretaker.

_Least my personal nurse is hot. No offense to Anya, but I'd much rather have (Name) take care of me. She smells nice, like a French hooker._

You turned the page, the next entry the day after the previous one. Damon seemed to write every day whenever he was stuck in bed either by injury or illness.

_I'm gonna fucking explode. If that little minx brushes against my dick one more time, I am going to cum all over her and it's gonna be awkward for everyone. And I don't even think she knows what the hell she's doin' to me! Sure, just put your tits in my face as you grab somethin' from the shelf above my head, just don't get mad when your nipple's in my mouth!_

You bust out laughing and carefully held your hand against your stitches, loving knowing Damon's inner thoughts. He was already something else just based on what he exerted, but what he kept inside was a real treat.

You continued reading for hours, faintly hearing the door open. He leaned down, reading over your shoulder. He chuckled deeply, moving his lips to your ear.

"Just go ahead and flip to the latest page, otherwise we'll be here for a while."

You did as he advised, the message written on a brand new page in fresh ink.

_So, you… Like, like me? 'Cause I mean, I like, love you._

You grinned and turned your head, your lips meeting his cheek.

"I love you too, ya jackoff."

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, I so wish it didn't take so long to get this out. I've got a lot of Baird WIPs, and I plan on finishing them all and then some!


End file.
